Make this for me, I ♥ you to death

So it's Boxing Day today &my family asked me, why boxing day? Honestly, i'm speechless &never really made enquires about it. I'll just take what I'm given till I remember why I want to know it. It's called procrastination, something that I have most &can't don't really want to do anything about.

I have really no expectations in life, no nothing from anything or anyone anymore. I don't know what I want. What I can have, what I can do. I'm speechless, senseless &going to be numbless. I'm going to let everyday pass day by day, night by night, trying to find something to fill my life with. I feel no longer significant, or actually all along I was insignificant. Yet, trying to prove myself in some ways is really hard, why? Cause I don't think I got anything worth something. Any, qualities. My importance have faded and when someday you realised me once more, I might not be there anymore.

That's life, &it sucks right? Sheesh.

Now, me love studying, baking, skating, stag-ing, blogging, shopping &others, like learning to play the guitar. In other words, just trying to try everything. I don't know. Should I just try like really everything in life?

- Drinking hard.
- Smoking.
- Getting a Tatto.
- Dye-ing my hair.
- Shesha.
- Clubbing.
- Staying out late.

That's, practically, everything bad. Which would probably let me get grounded for life. But then again, if I just turn havoc. Who would care, I mean, if I turn rebellious, who would give a fuck about it? But it's not in my character to be rebellious. Maybe I have done things that are unforgivable to my parents or God, but I don't know. I honestly don't know what I want.

&it's perfectly right, &it's my turn to say this: ' I don't know.'