Yes, I am, I did, I..

Well, just a very short post today cause I don't really have anything much to say. I saw this picture somewhere &managed to get it down. It tells me alot about how I've changed. Especially when I was a child till now. So much has changed.
The possibility of me being what I want is really not as easy as we all thought when we were young. We give ourselves all sorts of motivation to make ourselves work even harder but now, It seems that it was all just a long dream.

What can I do in my future, honestly, i see nothing. Nothing at all, nothing that I can be proud of, nothing that I really like. Nothing. I'm not good in almost everything. I can't do things well, I might be a jack of all trades but masters of none kinda person but ultimately, who would want a person like me who learns halfway and is unable to help herself.

I am someone who is extremely easily distracted, I can try to work hard but how long can I last. Please don't get me wrong, I may be distracted easily but I will work hard in other timings to make up. Yes I value the time I spent with everyone of my friends and family, extremely. I might seem indifferent but it's just cause i don't show it at all. Yeah, I'll prolly just stare at everyone i'm with &smile. That's just that.

You, are taking me for granted and I don't really like that, you're making me sad everytime cause of the way you talk to me. I don't owe you anything, so stop talking like that to make me bad. No it's not Weichong. It's another friend which I thought would learn to know who to cherish, but time after time, you're just taking me for granted, thinking i'll always be there. &you're always telling me to not be friends with you cause it might create problems. I have no idea why you're doing this. I don't like it, not one bit. You're just hurting me.

Right now, I am speechless, clueless, senseless &useless in some sense due to my procrastination and yeah, lack of willpower. I am not what people can expect from me anymore. I am tired of every dream that I ever made, every expectation that people have of me. But lord give me strength cause I know it's possible, cause I don't want to give up &I won't, till you want me to, till I really can't take it anymore - That hurts.


PS: When we're this young, we have nothing to lose, just a clock to beat and a hand to choose"
PSS: If you're wondering what I wrote in my previous post, yes I made it like that on purpose, what it wrote was: 'I hate myself today'