Emotions running wild ♥


Hello my lovely readers!

Finally, I've found some time to write another post for my blog. Not that I got alot of things to write abour but yesh I don't want my blog to be dead. The thought is quite disturbing, dead blog. Anyway, there are quite some stuffs that I want to rant about. Rant and talk about la. This whole week is actually literally pushing my mind and emotions to its limits. I mean, I actually cried out of nowhere, and my mind is filled with memories that I do not wish to remember, thoughts that would discourage me and imagination that would make my own heart ache.

This has to stop, I mean it Nana!

Well, let's start with some great news - I found a job, like finallllly. It's a temp Admin Assistant and I got it through RE (Recruit Express), on monday. That's right, my previou post was on monday yet I didn't mention? Cause I only got the job like 5 hours after my post. &at that post I was still saying that we should pray that I got a job. Well, PRAYER ANSWERED ! I am much glad actually cause I need a job to do something instead of nothing at home which is seriously disturbing and extremely boring. But I guess I have to get familiar with Excel and all. My Excel skills are like average cause I hardly used it. Shall practice with it later or tomorrow. I don't want to give a poor impression to my supervisior. Gosh, I am actually quite nervous about it. But I tell myself, endure for three months and it would be over. I think I got it covered but still, pray for me!

So other then that great news, there is actually no more news. But it's time to hear me grovel and get emo.. This whole week, I have no idea what or when it start, but I got really emo easily? My mind is filled to the brim with negative thoughts and my heart aches and I sometimes have difficulty in breathing. It's really driving me crazy cause I know I am not like that anymore. Well, I am very into keeping to my resolutions for this year. I don't wish to waste any minute of it. I want to be happier and give my 200% in everything I do. I want to embrace life and be happy about everything. But this brain of mine is making it seriously difficult. I mean.

Well, my mind controls how I think, and it's my thoughts and imagination that would would affect how my mind works. I am serious. Don't listen to what people say about the heart and the mind is all different. That's bullshit, your entire body is together isn't it. Obviously everything will be connected. But not being able to say something in your mind is because your heart and your mind is going against one another, not that they don't affect one another. Do you understand what I'm saying here? Anyway, I was feeling rotted these three days. Yeap - THAT'S WHY IT'S BEEN RAINING FOR THREE DAYS ! Prolly when I'm in a happy mood the rain would stop.

So it's raining now when I'm writing this, heavy rain in fact.

I had service today at HOGC and it was amazing. At the very beginning my mind was literally blank, my heart was aching really badly and I didn't want to do anything. During singalong I was emo-ing, I didn't sing much. But after that, I prayed, alot. To recover, to be happier with the people around me and all. &it worked, I felt better and I listen to the sermon and prayed with the church and pastor. It was an amazing moment. I felt much better afterwards.

Headed to my Reunion dinner just now with my family and I tell you, I am going to be EXTREMELY lucky this year. Cause during the whole meal, I was the only one who got into accidents and it's not because I made it come to me. Firstly, hot tea fell upon my thighs and it wet my entire jeans and it was hot I tell you but not so bad. Second time, hot soup spilled onto my arm and lap. I swear, the soup was extremely hot, and I quickly went to the sink to wash it. My tears were lke brimming to the eyeballs and I stopped myself from crying. IT WAS EXTREMELY HOT ! Then I was extremely jumpy throughout my entire meal, cause I was afraid I would get into trouble again. So my family was saying that I got yellow water, tea, and yellow soup, fish maw soup, on me. Which is yellow and they call it gold. Therefore, money would bestow onto me this year. Which means, I'm supposed to be richer.

Gosh I hope it's true.

Cause I definitely need it and should get it. The soup was really hot alright! Anyway, the meal was fine and we chatted a lot. Home sweet home and i'm here trying not to bother about the pain. Alright, I am going to fight my emotions and thoughts again today before I sleep. Check the weather tomorrow and you'll know whether I'm fine or not. OR MAYBE, it's the weather that is affecting me, cause I prefer the sun! Yeap! It's the weather not me! So people, let's hope for good weather tomorrow! Stay real close :)


Ps: How am I supposed to stop all these?