The pain behind that broken smile ♥


Hello my lovely readers!

Alright my attempt to be hyper has been destroyed and I am feeling extremely tired, sad and everything negative. Yes you name it, I might have it, anger, frustration, annoyed, sad, emotional and etc. It's all in one pack and I can only blame one thing for it. Hopefully you guessed it. Miss P has arrived. &it has made all my senses, emotions and feelings go haywire.. I hate this, I honest-to-goodness detest this. Why? Cause I am crying at this point of time, thinking of how would I ever do anything.

So I have decided to blog on my blog to let everything out. Or let some of it out. I couldn't possibly let everything out at a go anyway. The emotions would definitely bring this somewhere, but hopefully not of course. Just yesterday I was thinking of getting a wordpress instead of a blog because WP has this option that allows your post to be protected and private. Well, I think it's super useful cause it's like you want to say it out somewhere but you don't really want anyone to see and worry or something. But I decide against it cause my blog has been with me for almost 2years. Of course I can don't delete it but it's just so weird, leaving it hanging without an update and all.

Well, anyway. I feel as if I'm catching hell right now. Cramp pains are becoming more and more unbearable. My mind is spinning, my body is swaying and all I want to do is to lie in bed and forget the world even existed. I want to sleep all these emotions away, sleep all those problems and sleep all the worries away. Gosh I just want to getaway from everything. Yes I want to be a coward and not face the battle and lose the war. All because I'm not in the right frame of mind and that I am feeling horrible. I am sure everyone would experience days like this. That prolly nothing even matters anymore and nothing can enter your mind even though it is extremely important or urgent.. Nothing just seems right &I know I need someone beside me now?

I shall pray later when I am done with this. God will stop my tears from flowing. He will understand and knows what is best for me. Because He will never fail us all. &when everything is better I shall blog a happier post about a better occasion? Oh no, I feel like fainting now and my tears just flow down like a tap and I can't let anyone know what's going on cause I myself don't understand anything. Suddenly, I had a thought. I need someone, I need to find her. I need to talk to her. Now or never. I need to tell you something.


Ps: I lost my motivation &drive in the morning.